Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
