you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
