I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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