I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
