i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
