she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Randomize
