remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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