Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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