She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Randomize
