The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
