In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
