Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
