Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
