Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
