so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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