I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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