dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
