The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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