One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
She announced her abortion via fbk
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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