you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
