I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
