Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
