So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Randomize
