you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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