that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
