She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
