theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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