Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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