Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I look better un-naked...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
