if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
