I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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