you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
