Tell her she can't have a vagina
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
