She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
