I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
