My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
