At least make sure they are 18
Why
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
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