my room smells like sperm. sweet.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
