So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
