yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
