how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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