Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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