So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
