Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
