so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
