please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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