he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
