Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
