He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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