doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
