unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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