Non-Jews are for practice
you guys were way drunker than both of me
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
